i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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