Michael Bay diarrhea
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
