yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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