take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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