Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
