You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
barbara walters just said penis...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
And then my night got REAL pukey
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
