Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
