I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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