Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
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He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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