dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
