my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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