i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
