why didn't you poke me back
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
MIDGETS
????
Randomize
