You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
