Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
this hospital has no fireball
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
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