Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
