Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
