i permit you to call me
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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