the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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