Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
