She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
