Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
