A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize