he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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