i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
