honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
