As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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