I look better un-naked...
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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