so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
