Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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