It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
