Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
