The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize