I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
