My cat gives me a boner
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I could fuck to npr.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
