So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
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He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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