So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
My hand turned me down
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize