I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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