Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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