I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
