Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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