Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
