So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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