That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
