If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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