are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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