When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
