some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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