Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
