would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
