dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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