It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
