he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
