the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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