Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
