There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
